Why online dating doesnt work
For Tinder, one analysis found 70% of people never have gone on a date.And, the quality of relationships derived from online dating seems to be lower.This is very hard, if not impossible, to assess online, and even harder from a few photos and a brief bio (if you are even screening for that at all).So, dating apps simply can’t reasonably determine if that person you’re evaluating is charismatic. Many of our female clients describe crushing on guys who have a lot of charisma.While there is debate whether humans have or respond to pheromones (basically love chemicals that some animals clearly have), smell still seems to play an important role in attraction and compatibility, and it’s largely outside of our conscious awareness.For example, in one study women rated men with attractive faces as healthier, sexier, and more attractive not by seeing their actual faces, but simply from their smell!
For example, some research suggests a third of people using online dating haven’t even gotten a date!
But, when you go online to look for a guy, you think logically, so you swipe right on the guys who share common interests.
And, you end up going on bad dates with guys more like your five co-workers than your boss. Because online dating encourages logical and conscious choices and doesn’t allow for the more subconscious and emotional factors to play out.
You can choose whom you date and your actions resulting from attraction, but you can’t choose attraction.
Because of this, a lot of our attraction preferences are outside our conscious awareness.