Just moments away with online dating
If all that swiping starts to feel overwhelming, shut it down.
In fact, a lot of people over 40 miss dating IRL, according to Novo, who says her clients have the most success when they hang out at places that make them feel good, like a bar that plays their favorite music, at a cozy independent coffee shop, or by joining a running or fitness community—if that's your thing.
“They want to check off a few boxes and have the perfect candidate arrive at their mailbox in 48 hours.” It's important to be patient and to stay positive, she says.
Think of your frustration like a blizzard—it will do nothing but delay the delivery.
For example, Ettin says, one of her clients didn’t want to date a man because he took care of his grandson. “It showed that he was dedicated to his family,” says Ettin, who encouraged her client to give it a shot.
"Dating in our 40s typically means we know what we want, and we feel pressed to find it quick! "But eliminating fast is often the strategy that prolongs our single status." She warns that there is a thin line between "going with your gut" and being judgmental.
(Are excuses like 'I don't like how their apartment smells,' really deal-breakers?
“She now has a newfound love of chicken fingers at Friendly’s.” "It can be tempting to go out with a person who reminds you of someone you've already had a relationship with," says Lane Moore, author of To stop history from repeating itself, Moore recommends finding ways to heal, whether that means going to a therapist or doing some soul-searching.
“Healing is the only way to date a person who isn't similar to someone who is unhealthy for you,” she says.